Preliminary Diagnosis-MS Pt.1

The following may be news to most and a story I have never told straight. THIS IS MY POV. Shared and welcomed to all.

Today I decided to reflect on what is currently going on in my life. A lot has changed and it has been severely significant. Before November 1st, 2018, I had begun a new life journey. I got out of my comfort zone on June 5th, 2018 as I underwent weight loss surgery (WLS) by gastric sleeve. This was to become my new way of life to overcome diabetes and high-blood pressure. Being overweight was a significant part of my life for MOST of my life. By age 23 I had reached a weight of 324 lbs. right after graduating with a Bachelor's degree. This number was a big deal, especially at a young age. I had no symptoms of diabetes or high-blood pressure, but with time I came to know what harsh strains weight can put on you. I was able to lose 20 lbs. on my own, however I was never able to pass the 300 lb. mark for 3 years. It took me a long time to come around WLS, but I did tons of research, attended seminars, and followed through. I was also worried about what other people would think. Many say that WLS is the easy way out, but when it comes to being the only way, a will is born. I hid the surgery from many not wanting to feel belittled or insignificant, but I have grown. I DID WHAT I HAD TO DO. I owe nobody explanations, but myself. I do not need to make an excuse for others to feel better. I underwent this surgery to fight for my life. I was more scared of what would happen later on in my life than what I looked like or what others thought of me. Heart disease and diabetes are written in my family history and I did not want to continue the pattern with my future family (still hoping for kiddos!). So... I chose gastric sleeve. My starting weight before WLS was 304 lbs. It has now been 5 months & 11 days since my surgery and I have lost 80 lbs. (Clap, Clap, Clap. Yassss! Girl!)

So, with significant weight loss comes a healthy lifestyle. I began working out and eating right, but then I hit a stall at 50 lbs. I met a new coworker who was the new wrestling coach at our high school and we just got to talking about being healthy. I used to wrestle in middle school and high school and I was at my prime with my health! My work outs were great and nutrition was on point, so I took up the offer to help coach and workout with the school athletes to get back to getting healthy. I began interval training and running 3 miles a week (1-2 miles a day) for 6 solid weeks. I was pretty proud of myself and I still am! During those weeks I lost another 25 lbs. and on October 30th, I had officially lost 100 lbs. since graduating college. (Yasss!) BUTTTTT... November 1st happened...

Here is where we get real, y'all...

It was just like any ordinary morning. I got ready, grabbed my breakfast that I meal prepped for the week (1 egg w/ ham, cheese, and bell peppers) and headed to 7 a.m. wrestling practice. I assisted in coaching and all went well. Went to change and headed to the office to take care of teacher stuff. THEN, came the vision loss in my left eye. This was a significant symptom. I was confused as I walked back to my classroom and my art classes began. I had remembered that when I was overweight I had some vision loss due to high-blood pressure. So, I called the nurse and she took my vitals. BP was fine and my blood sugar was fine... until I started slurring my speech. That's when I knew something was significantly wrong. I felt absolutely DRUNK (and had 0 fun in doing so). I had no idea what had happened! I felt I had hit my head so hard. Our school nurse wanted to get me home immediately and my coworker drove me home because thankfully it was his off period. Both of us thinking it was low blood sugar, I ate a mazapan (sadly, it did not make me happy or feel any better). One thing I had wanted to do soooo badly was to take a nap, but I wasn't allowed to because we had no idea what was going on in my noggin. I waited for my Tia as I live alone. When she got to my house, she made sure I ate, and kept me awake until it was time to go to a Dr.'s appointment I scheduled back at work. At this point, I was exhausted.

Time to see the doctor and well I felt hungover at this point (again, 0 fun in getting to this point!) and yup, vitals were fine. I was poked once again for my blood sugar and everything was good. So I wait. And wait... as we go through question after question and an EKG. Talking was significantly difficult. I was compensating my speech by annunciating all of my words. IT WAS RIDICULOUS. At this point, I was just in "WHAT THE HELL?!" state of mind. Sooo, BING! BANG! BOOM! we need an MRI stat! Sooooo... another appointment was made the same day and we waited some more. Again, I could not nap and my grouchiness was reaching another level. BUT WHOAAAAA, it gets worse (again, my POV)!

MRI time and finally some kind of answer as to what was happening. HAAAA, not so fast! My MRI apparently needed to be authorized. Bro! EYE ROLL! They would NOT let me get the MRI because my insurance was not authorizing the MRI... WTF?!?! Nah, dude. The receptionist stated, "we will need to reschedule you for another day because your appointment time is almost up and it will not get authorized in time." OHHHHHH, heck no! I called BS on it and just went rogue (again, my POV). I stood at the counter in front of the receptionist, dizzy as HECK, calling my insurance right in front of the receptionist. The insurance representative was being kind and just telling me to hold on... Mmmm, (shakes head) I got that shin-dig authorized! I was (and still kind of am) livid about the lack of cooperation between patient and office help... BUT WHATEVER! It is now in the past...

Now, for the MRI! I could not walk alone and my Tia assisted me in walking to the changing room and to change into a gown. I was exhausted at this point. I just moaned at every question and thankfully she was there for all the support she could give me. IV time for the MRI contrast and >.< I am just not ok with a tiny tube sticking out of my arm. Mind you, I fainted before the WLS because I saw my skin form a tent with the needle before the insertion of the IV. So yea, I was not fond of them poking me (for the 3rd time in one day). Soooo... they laid me on the moving MRI table and I laid flat for 20 minutes. I have earplugs in. The machine was (in my POV) making the worse DJ record song in the history of mankind! CACHA! CAHCA! BOOOP! NERRRRR! just over and over again, with noooo beat! All this with the headache from hell (some may say this was a migraine... I have no idea what a migraine really is, but I guess I do now???). They take me out and insert the contrast and stick me back in for another 10 minutes. AND DONE! Again, I am walking super slow and my aunt is helping me. Then I get home and just wait for my doctor to call. My mom comes to my house with my car from work as Aunty (my other aunt) picked her up from my grandmother's house and went to my workplace. My Tia goes home. Aunty hugs me goodbye and leaves. It's my mom, my pups, and me.

I get the call.

"Ma'am, we have your MRI results and have found abnormalities in the brain. We will need to see you tomorrow, you are safe to sleep."

Well, dang. There's more questions that needed answers and all I could do was just wait. Not patiently. My anxiety shoots to a 20 and my heart beats as fast as a bee ready to go in for the attack. I did not go gentle into the night.

I lie in my bed sinking into a dark abyss.

Into a low, steady hole.

Every thought reaching the

Ends of my fingertips.

Out into the world.

With quiet lips.

#lifelessons #staystrong #multiplesclerosis #preliminarydiagnosis #newlife #storygoeson